Feedback for Portfolio Essays: A caption of what I wrote!

Here's my evalutation of the writing, just a little caption for my blog to document the work being done on the portfolios and the portfolio evaulations!

I’m going to answer all of the questions for the Introduction, and then all of the other essays, in the order that they were in on the portfolio assignment. The Introduction, I saw as a great piece, in and of itself – lots of specific and valuable information, but the ‘packaging’ of this information is what really needs to be improved. There were more than a few spelling, grammar, and syntax errors that need to be corrected; however, as a whole, this reads very provocatively, and the argument is definitely there.

Again for the Reflection, I believe that the argument is there, with specific information – I really liked how you showed the evolution of your sources from several more biased news stations, to the less politically influenced, more straight information sources. There are some typing errors in this essay, but overall, this was the best written of the three. I really would like to know the revisions of the essay, but it seems that this one is in CA? Not totally sure what that’s all about, but I hope you get it back in time to put it in the portfolio!

The Conclusion needs a little ‘beefing up’ before you hand it in. There are some minor errors in spelling, grammar, and syntax, but overall, it read just as well as the second essay. I also noted some incorrect capitalization with the first and last paragraphs that needs to be corrected. This one could use some more specific information, such as the information that you used to highlight the argument in the first two essays. The conclusion as an essay is not as provocative as the first two essay, which is something that needs to be worked on, as the conclusion is the last thing that the reader will come across while analyzing your portfolio.

Feedback for presentations...A little late...

So, here is my feedback for the presentations before Thanksgiving - sorry about them being a little late, but I had a huge lab practical this week, so I've been super busy studying!

Travis:
-Great eye contact and speech, very informative
-try to vary tone, maybe tell a joke to maintain interest
-nicely dressed for presentation

Kayvan:
-interesting project - love the pictures!!!
-good letter, only 1-2 small grammatical/syntax errors
-survey was interesting - some numbering was a little off, but very cleaver idea overall
-maybe stick with brochures to give people on drillfield

Ben:
-very controversial topic - cool website/petition!
-great 'game plan', super interesting, and very creative
-try to look up at audience more while reading, I know that sounds wierd, but basically just try to look up every so often to let the audience know you still acknowledge them.

Mary Eileen:
-good outfit
-audience needs to be a little clearer, but overall great idea.
-I loved that your letter reads easily and is extremely captivating - great job!
-very catchy flyer - definitly attracts attention.

Taylor:
-Nice pictures and quotes, definitly attention-getting
-try to bring note cards so you don't have to look down to read slides.

Here they are, ENJOY!!!